I'm deleted. Fine!

Someone deleted me on his Facebook list of friends and phone book. Sige lang. Bahala ka sa buhay mo. Pero gusto ko malaman mo na hindi ako natutuwa.

Introducing...Totoy No. 1 :-)

Update/s:

Naging okay kami ni Kuya No. 1 after his birthday. In fact, marami na rin ang naganap na inuman/videoke sessions with him and his friends. Naging okay pa nga kasi this time, mas naging open na kami parehas. I'll ask him if hot si ganito or cute si ganitong guy tapos siya he'll ask me kung okay si ganitong girl.

Pero mas naging close ako ngayon kay "Totoy No. 1", twenty year-old friend ni Kuya No. 1. Siya yung nirereto sa akin ni Kuya No. 1 nung halos deads-na-deads pa ako sa kanya. Mas na-appreciate ko siya nung inasikaso niya ako nung time na maagang umalis si Kuya No. 1 sa aming routinary inuman moments. Tapos lagi niya akong tinetext unlike Kuya No. 1 na dahil Smart subscriber daw siya e nanghihinayang magtext sa akin na isang Globe subscriber. Bullsh*t. LOL

Dumating na sa point na kino-consider na ako ni Kuya No. 1 na bestfriend. Yuck. Pero sinakyan ko na lang.

In one of our pinakamasayang inuman moments, na-mention ko kay Kuya No. 1 na 'pag naging kami ni Totoy No. 1, siya bilang "bestfriend" ko ang unang makakaalam. Ayun. Nag-walk out. Ako naman, clueless.

Sa mga sumunod na araw, sinumbatan na ako ni Kuya No. 1 na may "favortism" daw ako. Bakit daw si Totoy No. 1 lagi ko tinetext eh siya, naturingan ko pa naman daw bestfriend e hindi. I ignored him that time kasi tangina naman alam ko naman na hindi siya magrereply. Nainis ako.

Last week, Tuesday night. Maaga ako nakatulog. Sila pla ay umiinom/nagbi-videoke kasi birthday nung isa sa mga friends niya. Tinext ako ni Kuya No. 1 na sumunod. Tinext din ako ni Totoy No. 1. Pero wala ako na-replyan ni-isa sa kanila kasi tulog na nga ako. Duh! Nagdamdam si Kuya No. 1.In fact, ang kwento sa akin nung isa naming friend eh nung nalasing na si Kuya No. 1 eh hiniram yung cellphone ni Totoy No.1 para i-check kung nagreply ako. Umaga na sila natapos maginuman. Ako naman, pagkarating ko sa office eh tinext ko agad silang 2 at nagso-sorry kasi hindi ako nakasunod last night. Ping! On-line sa facebook si Kuya No. 1. "Nakakatampo ka. Hindi na ako magpapakita sa iyo." I was like...okay! Bahala ka sa buhay mo. Sabi ni Totoy No. 1, pinilit daw mag-OL ni Kuya No. 1 kahit bangag pa para lang sabihin yun sa akin. Susme.

Last Friday, late na nang in-invite ako ni Totoy No. 1 na uminom. Pero dahil sabik ako sa alak nun, pumunta ako. Sinundo ako ni Totoy No. 1 sa gate ng subdivision nila. Tapos surprise! si Kuya No. 1 nagtago lang pla sa isang poste sa susunod na street. "Shit". Yun lang nasabi ko. Si Kuya No. 1, binigyan ako ng smirk tapos umalis din. Tinanong ko si Totoy No. 1 kung saan si Kuya No. 1 pupunta. Hayaan ko na lang daw. Fine.

Wala pang 30 minutes, may I appear si Kuya No. 1. Nagmabilisang ligo at nagbihis pla. Nagpagwapo. Bwahahaha. Obvious talaga. Nag-attempt siya na lumapit sa akin pero 'di naman ako mawala sa tabi ni Totoy No. 1. Ang dami kasi namin pinagke-kwentuhan. As expected, nanahimik na naman si Kuya No. 1. Mabilis ako nalasing. Nung nagpaalam na ako para umuwi, tumayo si Kuya No. 1. Feeling ko gusto ako ihatid. Pero inakbayan na ako ni Totoy No. 1 at siya ang naghatid sa akin.

Ayun ang updates. Close na close na kami ni Totoy No. 1 at feeling ko galit sa akin si Kuya No. 1. Shit.  :-(

Friends pa rin? :-)

Dear March 18, 2011 (Friday),

I will never forget you. Ever.

You are the last day of UPLB Fair. You are the most awaited date for UPLB grads who seldom visit elbi. You paved way for me and my elbi friends to hang out, talk, eat, smoke, drink, etc. (*wink). Just the thought of you approaching made me really excited and file a vacation leave a week in advance. I am always there for you, save for that 2007 FebFair I missed (binulutong kasi ako. LOL).

But this time, it will be different.

You share an event this day, which recently became significant to me. It was Kuya No. 1's birthday. His 22^nd birthday to be specific.

Since Monday (February 14), I’ve been thinking really hard on where I should be. My elbi friends are expecting me to be there. We have so many things planned for this day. Tuesday, my friends knew about my dilemma. They were pretty much upset about it. “Jackfry” warned me that If I would not make it, our friendship will be over. I knew that this is not that serious as it appears to be but I just cannot disappoint him. Not on this time when he’s been going through tough times and I could not convince myself that he, being one of my closest elbi friends, will understand me If I won’t make it to elbi.

And so I went to elbi. Half-heartedly. I was in elbi but my mind (urgh, ok, heart) was somewhere else. I was wondering what has been happening on  Kuya No. 1's bithday party. You see, I became so attached to the new “tropa” (see my “Live a Happier Life” post) that I nearly missed elbi fair for them. Kuya No. 1 personally invited meto attend his bithday celebration a week earlier. In fact, he was the one who put his birthday on my phone’s calendar. I never informed him that I won’t be on his birthday party and that I will be in elbi. I want him to get mad at me for not making it to his birthday party. Crazy right? Maybe I just want him to notice my absence and eventually demand my time. But came the night of his birthday, he never texted me at all. I nearly burst into tears. Thank God I’m with my elbi friends who comforted me.

One of Kuya No. 1’s friend who acted as a spy for me informed me that the reason why Kuya No. 1  is not texting me is because he is with his girlfriend. I felt bad. Parang naiwan ako sa ere. Parang nagamit lang ako. Bobo. Sh*t.

I never really enjoyed FebFair because of what he did to me. But that helped me to arrive at a decision which proves to be right to-date.I bid goodbye to my other SIM card containing his number which ideally should mark the end of those damn awesome days with Kuya No. 1.

Thank you March 18, 2011.

-----

Updates:

(1)   I’m sooo over Kuya No. 1. 

(2)   I don’t have Kuya No. 1's number anymore. I never asked for his number. But we are still FB friends. We chat whenever we’re both on-line.

(3)   We are okay as friends. I initially thought of forgetting him and the tropa as If they were never my friends. Pero ang bigat. Ang hirap. Moving on is difficult if the other party remains bitter. We both agreed to preserve the friendship: a win-win case which works both on our advantage to-date. At least now, we still have “friendship” between us.

All the lessons I’ve learned through this whole experience may be put as follows:

1.      There are cases where HUMAN A fell in love with HUMAN B but could not love the former in return for some reason (e.g., not ready yet, ‘di talo, etc.) is normal.

2.      If HUMAN A and HUMAN B started out as friends, they may still remain as friends after all what happened. In most cases, this proves to be beneficial for both parties involved.

3.      If HUMAN A remains persistent about what he/she feels for HUMAN B, there is nothing wrong with HUMAN B. HUMAN A, being a friend in the first place, should understand him.

4.      In certain cases, there will be other HUMANS C-Z (who might be friends with HUMAN A and/or B) that might get involved in the scene. This is normal. Remember HUMAN B, HUMAN A is madly in love with you. There is some tendencies for HUMAN A to feel protective and possessive of you. But all will be well. Napaguusapan naman yan e.

Eto ang tragic:

5.      HUMAN B decides to avoid HUMAN A. Avoidance may soon lead to disregard. Yes, HUMAN B lost a lover. But at the same time, HUMAN B lost a friend. And depending on how “mean” HUMAN B treats HUMAN A, HUMAN B might soon find himself an enemy. Who wants an enemy?

Treasure friendship. This is one way of living a happier life. J