Aayos na ako. :-/

I forgot our monthsary. Again.

Hahaay. The week could have been fun but the thought of forgetting (for the nth time) our monthsary bothered me. I lost focus. All along, I was thinking of how I can get out of that sh*t. For those times that I forgot the god damn date, I was able to pull off believable excuses.

Usually, he would just text me with “Happy monthsary” with a frowning smiley at the end of his message. That’s my cue to offer him my apology and lay my excuses. But this time, it’s different. He texted me with a very striking “nagiba ka na nga”. No frowning smiley. But those plain words are charged. Drama princess na rin si Potter? Oh no.

I called him up and sincerely said “sorry, nakalimutan ko talaga”. Then a moment or two of dead air. I was frustrated. I expected him to curse me (I know he can’t. He doesn’t curse). I expected him to yell at me (Oh yes, he can). In an alarmed tone, I said “O ano?”. Then he hang up.

That made me think. Big time. Siguro, kahit na magaling ako magtago at magsinungaling, he knew that I was doing something else. I’ve been telling my friends that “love” and “sex” are mutually exclusive things for me. I know how to play. I also know that I love Potter. Siya lang.

Pero lately, nasobrahan yata ang paglalaro ko. Marami na yata ako nabigay sa mga kalaro ko at napansin na ni Potter na kulang na ang binibigay ko sa kanya. Hahaay…

Last Friday, he texted me “Sa Sat. Usap tayo.” I am expecting this. No. I’m expecting something worse like he would broke up with me via SMS. Paranoid much.

Last Saturday, as agreed, he came to our house. He talked about how stressful his job was. I listened. He kept on talking. In any moment, I expected him to tell me how disappointed he was of me. But he never did. I saw a very tired Potter. This is bad. Before we went to bed, pinangunahan ko na. “Sorry” (with smoldering stare). He said nothing. He was just staring at me the entire time. Blank face. Tsk. That almost killed me. “Ano ba? Magsalita ka! Magalit ka!”. Finally, he gave a cute smirk. Then a sigh. “Ah yun ba? OK na yun. Ang mahalaga, mahal mo ako. ‘Di ba?” I was petrified. OMG. This is not Potter’s typical behavior. In our 3 years + of relationship,  siya yung mas nagsna-snap at ako naman ang mostly nakikinig lang at magsasalita lang pag medyo malamig na ang sitwasyon.

“OK ka lang?”

“OO naman”, a chuckling Potter replied.

“Weh?” (I was trying to make him laugh some more)

“OO nga!”

“Hindi mo ako aawayin?”

“Naku. We had enough of that. Maybe this time, mas magwo-work ito kung magi-intindihan tayo”

I can’t say a word. Tumaas pa nga ang kaliwang kilay ko. Owver.

“Pero mahal mo pa rin ako, ‘di ba?”

I gave him a hug. “Salamat ha. I love you”

At natulog na kami.

Pag-big nga naman. J